interview with former Bolton Wednesday striker and aficionado
Willie Kicket by reporter Ivan Inkling.
Willie. What did you think of the game between Ashington
Stanley and Lynmouth Argile?
you know, Ivan, the thing is, as it was, so to speak,
a game of football between twenty two
players, eleven on one side wearing white shirts and
eleven on the other side wearing red shirts and it lasted
for ninety minutes which is quite normal for a football
match unless there is injury time which makes up for
the time lost when players have to get medical attention
but that wasn't needed in this game because nobody was
injured except for a few people in the crowd when a
fight broke out. So all in all, Ivor, it was a relatively
injury free game and much better than it would have
been if it had been a little bit worse than it was.
Its Ivan actually, but thanks,
Willie, for that riveting account. Now what about the
players? How did they perform?
Well you know, Ivan, all
the players were very talented footballers except for
one or two that weren't and
they all did what was expected of them. Some of them
kicked the ball and some even headed it which means
they used their heads to propel the ball mainly towards
the opposing team's goal but sometimes they were sneaky
and they passed the ball backwards to their team mates
to confuse the other team. That is what we call tactics,
Evan, and it is being used more and more in the cutting
edge football we see today.
Sometimes players tried to take the ball away from the
opposing team using a maneuver we call a tackle and
sometimes it worked but sometimes they did it wrong
and that is what we call a foul and some players were
told off by Orsen Kart, the referee. The referee is
the twenty third man on the field and he is there to
see fair play and uphold the rules but he wears a different
colour to the two teams so we can tell he isn't one
of the players.
And what did you think of the result?
Well you know, Igor, the two teams were quite evenly
matched, well it was a match wasn't it? - see what
I did there? And you know, Ian, you can stick your
finger in the air and no matter which way the wind
blows it won't help to predict the result. In the
first half neither of the teams managed to get the
ball into the other team's goal so no goals were scored.
But you know, Igor, it is a game of two halves.
That is because they have a fifteen minute break in
the middle. In the second half it was different because
the teams played on the other side of the playing
area which we usually call the pitch. In the second
half there was a lot more kicking about and heading
but one player got told off by the referee because
the ball accidentally hit his hand and that is against
the rules because it is called football. The goalkeeper
is allowed to use his hands because they discovered
it is really difficult to catch the ball with your
feet. In America they play a game they call football
but it isn't really because they all use their hands.
Its a bit like our rugby except the players wear armour.
luck would have it or maybe not in this case there
were no goals scored in the second half either. So
the result was a very deserved draw for both teams.
A draw is what we call it when both teams score the
same number of goals or in this case none and we call
that a no score draw. That means that no team actually
won the game so they will have to play again in what
we call a re-match.
By the way, My name is Ivan. There was almost one
goal wasn't there Willie?
Well you know, Ivan, its a funny old game and at the
end of the day there will certainly be the night.
Yes, Ivan, there was nearly one goal. There was a
young man in the team with the red shirts but the
were a little bit older. And you know, Ivan, sometimes
the players can be women and they play football in
a women's league against other women's teams but not
many people watch it because everybody knows football
is a man's game. Anyway back to today's game and one
young player kicked the ball and it actually went
into the Lynmouth goal. The Ashington supporters cheered
and sang some songs but then the referee said it didn't
count because it was offside. Unfortunately I don't
know what that means. I have been told there is something
called the offside rule and many boring people have
tried to explain it to me but you know, Isaak, I just
Thank you Willie for that very informative appraisal
of the game.
My pleasure. Will the cheque be in the post