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How excited
was the gardener about spring?
So excited he wet his plants.
If worms
took over the world would it be Global Worming.
Why couldn’t
the flower ride its bike?
It
lost its petals.
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| What
do you get when you plant kisses?
Tulips!
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How does
a bee brush its hair?
With its honeycomb.
What month
of the year is the shortest?
May – it only has 3 letters.
What kind
of garden does a baker have?
A flour” garden
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| What
season is it best to go on a trampoline?
Spring time! |
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How do you
tell someone winter is over?
You spring it on them!
What did
the florist say when it was springtime?
Business is blooming!
What’s
the freshest herb you can find in April?
Spring-thyme!
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| Why
is the letter A like a flower?
A bee comes after it! |
What did
the tree when spring arrived?
What a re-leaf.
What is
a spring chick after it is five months old?
A: Six months old.
Why do monkeys
fall from the sky in spring?
Because of the ape-ril showers.
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I
thought I heard the spring onions singing Bee Gees songs in
my fridge. When I opened the door it was just the chives talking.
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Should you
plant flowers in any month besides April?
May as well!
Why is everyone
so tired on April 1?
Because they've just finished a long, 31 day March!
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| What
bow cannot be tied
A rainbow |
What
do you call a mushroom who is the life of the party?
A fun-gi.
Do you know
all about April 1st?
Yes, I’m fooly aware of it!
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What’s
a baby chick’s favourite plant?
EGG-plants!
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What is
it when it rains chickens and ducks?
Foul weather!
What do
you call a well-dressed animal?
A dandy lion!
How do you
know that bees are happy?
Because they hum while they work.
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| Who
is an herb’s favourite singer?
Elvis Parsley! |
It's
summer time with these hot jokes |
How do you
prevent a summer cold?
Catch it in the winter!
What do
bees say in summer?
It’s swarm, isn’t it?!
X Factor:
The original Roman sun cream.
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|
| Why
do bananas use sun cream?
So they don’t peel! |
| |
What is
brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on holiday!
Where do
sheep go on their holidays?
To the Baa-hamas!
Where do
sharks go on holiday?
To Finland!
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| What
letter is the coolest?
Iced T! |
Why did
the elephants get kicked out of the pool?
They kept dropping their trunks.
What do
you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
Swimming trunks!
Reading
while you sunbathe makes you well red!
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|
| What
does a mermaid use to call her friends?
A shell phone.
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What happens
if you throw a red sun hat in the water?
It gets wet!
What did
the sea say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
What’s
black and white and red all over?
A zebra with a sunburn!
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| What
do you call six weeks of rain in Scotland?
Summer! |
What did
the beach say when the tide came in?
Long time no sea!
I stayed
up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on
me.
What do
you call a cat at the beach?
Sandy Claws
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|
| What
do sheep do on a hot summer day?
Have a baa-baa-que! |
| |
“My
son came to visit for summer holiday.”
“How nice! Did you meet him at the airport?”
“Oh, no. I've known him for years!"
What kind
of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane Chocolate
|
| What
is grey has four legs and a trunk?
A mouse going on holiday!
|
What do
you call a dog on the beach on a hot summer day?
A hot dog!
What summer
holiday destination makes a pet bird sing for joy?
The Canary Islands!
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Owls
prefer to mate in the summer because in the winter when it rains
it’s too wet to woo.
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Why do fish
swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
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Why didn't
the elephant buy a suitcase for his summer holiday?
Because he already had a trunk!
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When
the Autumn leaves fall these jokes will pick you up |
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What did
one autumn leaf say to another? I’m falling for you!
What is
red, orange and yellow and doesn’t get hurt when it falls?
Autumn leaves!
How does
an Elephant get out of a tree?
Sits on a leaf and waits till Autumn!
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|
Why
do all the birds fly south in the autumn?
Because it’s too far to walk |
What month
do trees hate the most?
Sep-timber!
What name
would you give to a large colourful pile of leaves?
The Great Barrier Leaf.
Did you
hear about the tree who deserted the forest at the end autumn,
He was absent without leaves!
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If
money really did grow on trees, what would be everyone’s
favourite season?
Autumn.
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What do
you call a man in the pile of leaves?
Russell.
What did
the oak tree say when autumn came around? Leaf me alone.
What kind
of vest should you wear in the autumn? A har-vest!
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Why
did Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
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Warm
up your winter with these jokes |
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|
What did
Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman?
“Have an ice day!”
What falls
in the winter but never gets hurt?
Snow
What can
you catch with your eyes closed?
A cold
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What
do you call a snowman on roller blades?
A snowmobile.
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Where do
snowmen love to dance?
At a snow ball
What do
you call a snowman tantrum?
A meltdown
What is
a snowman’s favourite breakfast?
Ice Krispies
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|
| How
do mountains stay warm?
Snow-caps |
| |
Grandma’s
been staring through the window ever since it started to snow.
If it gets any worse I’ll have to let her in
What do
you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite
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| What
do you call a snowman in August?
A puddle |
What’s
a snowman’s favourite drink?
Ice Tea
What did
the snowman say to his customer?
Have an ice day
How do snowmen
greet one another?
They say “Ice to meet you”
|
|
| What
did the icy road say to the car?
Want to go for a spin?
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| |
How does
a snowman travel?
He rides an icicle!
How do you
prevent a Summer cold?
Catch it in the Winter!
What’s
a snowman’s favourite lunch?
An ice-burger.
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| What’s
an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
|
What did
one snowman say to the other snowman?
Can you smell carrot?
What do
you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!
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Why
was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose!
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