I used to
like origami but I gave up as there was too much paperwork.
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My hobbies
are knitting and swimming but the wool gets soggy.
I needed a hobby so I decided to take up fencing.
My neighbours were furious.
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What time
do tennis players go to bed?
Tennish.
What lights
up a football pitch at night?
A football match!
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Why didn't
the dog play football?
It was a boxer.
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I just started
baking lessons.
Up to now it’s a piece of cake.
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My exercising
equipment has a hobby
It collects dust
My Dad grows
herbs as a hobby.
He has too much Thyme on his hands.
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I took up
picking locks as a hobby.
It's opened a lot of doors for me.
Every day
I spend a few hours on a running machine. Next week I might
even turn it on.
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My hobby
was skiing but it went downhill fast.
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Did you
hear about the skydiving club that closed?
The members kept falling out.
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I was thinking
of doing yoga so I rang the leisure centre and they asked me
if I was flexible.
I said "yes I can do anytime except for Tuesday's"
We moved
our treadmill outside so I can smoke.
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I used to
work for an origami company until it folded.
I took up
snail racing as a hobby. I thought removing their shells would
make them go faster but it just made them sluggish.
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As a hobby
I started taking walks around the old clock tower.
It’s a great way to pass the time.
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You need
to be so careful when you're hot air ballooning.
It's easy to get carried away
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My hobby
used to be whale watching. I give it up because I just couldn't
see the porpoise.
What is
a spider’s favourite hobby?
Surfing the web.
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Did you
hear about the overweight man who spent his spare time in a
casino?
He heard it was the quickest way to lose pounds.
I tried
water polo but my horse drowned.
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I recently
took up blindfold archery.
I didn't know what I was missing.
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Today a
man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards
the local swimming pool.
I gave him a glass of water.
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Doing yoga
got me out of the habit of biting my fingernails.
Now I bite my toenails.
If you win
three games of Twister in a row you're automatically a yoga
instructor.
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What does
Iron Man do in his spare time?
He irons clothes.
What android
team won the Olympic water sports?
The rowbots!
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I went to
a climbing club the other day but someone had stolen all the
grips from the wall. You couldn't make it up.
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I had an
art contest with my friend.
It ended in a draw.
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I missed
a couple of my cooking classes.
Now I have some ketchup to do.
Why do we
paint Easter eggs?
Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them.
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Why did
the ants dance on jam jars?
Because the label said ‘twist to open’.
I used to
make furniture out of plants.
It was no bed of roses.
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How many
line dance instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Five!…Six!…Seven!…Eight.
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I named
my dog Miles so I can tell people that I walk Miles every single
day.
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A friend
of mine collects blunt pencils.
I find that a bit pointless.
Why do golfers
always carry a spare pair of pants?
In case they get a hole in one!
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My grandpa
started walking five miles a day when he was 60….. Now
he’s 97 years old and we don’t know where he is.
Saw eleven
flies playing cricket in a saucer earlier. They’re playing
in the cup at the weekend.
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Why is the
Incredible Hulk such a good gardener?
He's got green fingers.
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Getting
my kite stuck in a tree isn't my favourite thing.
But it's up there.
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Why didn't
Noah do much fishing on the ark?
He only had two worms.
What's the
hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?
The ground.
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I'm great
at identifying birds.
OK, what are those in that tee?
Yes, they are definitely all birds.
Why can’t
Cinderella play football?
Because she always runs away from the ball.
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I
had to give up my photography hobby.
I kept losing focus. |
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